You may be extremely critical of yourself. You may be afraid to attempt anything new. You may even excuse any success you have by saying “I was just lucky” or “anyone could do that”.
A lack of confidence or low self-esteem usually has an underlying cause of stress, anxiety or even depression. When we lack confidence we feel out of control and a common symptom of this is when we do the following:
- We negatively forecast the future.
In this situation we may say things like:“I’m never going to get another job”
“I’m never going to get married”
“I’m never going to have a baby” OR
- We negatively introspect about the past
Then we may say things like:“ I didn’t get chosen for that project previously, so I won’t bother to apply this time”
“ I wasn’t any good at sport at school, so there’s no point in trying now”
The major cause of poor self-esteem is past negative programming that may be the product of a specific parental or schooling style. You can therefore inherit this thinking style and acquire a critical inner voice that produces internal fear. It may be a fear to try anything new, a fear of change or even a fear to perform your daily activities.
Fear of failure can actually also be the fear of success – as you will need to keep succeeding over and over again, so it may be better to fail initially without that wait.
Self-esteem may suffer from the way you perceive your physical self. If you view your appearance as a negative factor, you will reflect that view in your behaviour and actions, in the words you use, in your body language and in the opinions you express.
To increase confidence and self-esteem, your goal is to improve this permanently. One way of doing this is to reprogramme your subconscious.
Hypnotherapy can be used as a relaxation tool to reduce stress associated with everyday activities and to support positive changes. In addition, visualisation and NLP (neuro linguistic programming) techniques will be utilised to remove any fears associated with the situation.
Aspects of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and solutions focused brief therapy will then allow the therapy to be effective, by establishing your goals and increasing your confidence levels to achieve them.
The number of session required will be determined by the severity of the confidence or self-esteem issue, however as this is anxiety related, this is usually between 8-12 sessions, although some improvement may be noticed after 3 or 4 sessions. This will be discussed during the initial consultation.